


phil calls

by starryniyts



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2010 Phan, Anxiety, Dans POV, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15858072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryniyts/pseuds/starryniyts
Summary: dan needs to feel like he's doing more than coasting





	phil calls

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first fic so please be gentle. this was going to follow dan over 8 years but i thought i would just start out with something small instead. 
> 
> follow me on the tumblr im gonna start using: @sparklydnp 
> 
> if you read this thank you and i appreciate you it means a lot <3

  
  


“Hi im dan” theres a fragile shake to his voice that makes the secretary think he’s a child, he looks scared when she looks away like hes going to have to get her attention again.

 

“Umm im supposed to be starting my internship today and i was wondering where i should be going”

 

That was a kind of weird way of phrasing it good work. ”Mmmmph” he lets out a quiet sigh. 

 

Hes trying to catch himself mentally chastising himself more. He’d said he was going to work on his confidence.

 

“Oh sure thing i have your name tag right here you need to go check in on the third floor” 

 

She was young and unenthused by the whole situation and Dan felt the same, not in a compainiable way but he used it as an indicator that this job is going to turn out exactly the way he thinks. He draws comfort from a situation he can asses, he thinks he’s good at just getting things. When he’s told something he understands it fully, and can do it well. It’s just the unknown territory that he struggles with.

 

Which is why he feels like he’s using law as a cop out. An escape from trying to achieve something he would enjoy. He’s never had to be competitive because without fail he always wins. He gets good grades without trying, he plays songs by ear, and he remembers a word the first time he hears it. Law will be like that trudging through, doing it well, but having absolutely nothing invested in it. 

 

Acting would have felt like reaching, he’s never reached because he’s never wanted anything. 

 

So he drags himself and his anxiety and his contempt all the way up the elevator. 

  
  


\--------------------

 

“This sucks” moans the guy he’s filing with. 

 

Dans not at the stage where he’s comfortable enough with this job to complain alongside his new sort of work acquaintance that he has nothing in common with. So instead he gives a fake chuckle and falls into his fantasies.

 

Youtube feels like a terrible distraction, an indulgence that’s gone too far. But also it feels right Phil especially feels so right. 

 

He misses phil so much right now, this sad office is giving him too much time to think.

They haven’t been able to see each other as much this month, Dan’s been annoyingly busy with work and uni applications, and family vacations and whatever other nuisance happens to pop up. And phils in florida with his family. 

 

Phil… phils pretty… and fun… and he makes Dan forget about the weight he seems to be carrying on his back. 

 

_ Buzzzz buzzz buz buzzzz  _

 

Dan looks at the contact thats popped up on his phone. 

 

“Umm hey im just gonna quickly use the toilets”

 

Dan looks at his filing partner expectantly but he’s stuck headphones in and apparently couldn’t care less. 

 

Dan speed walks his way through probably one of the most sterile buildings he’s ever been in. 

 

Seriously don’t hospitals have more personality than this? 

Dan locks himself in the handicap stall and calls back. It takes a while to pick up and in that time Dan starts to feel like he’s letting another person down. Dan gets scared, he doesn’t want Phil to think this relationship is just another thing to keep on his plate, Dan firmly believes this isn’t just something he needs to make time for. This is the first relationship he’s had where it feels like a weight has been lifted rather than added. Maybe it’s because he’s with a guy now, or maybe it’s just Phil. The guy who reminds him to relax and that it’s okay to stop for a second, and his interests aren’t just a waste of space. 

 

“Ello” 

 

“Hey”

 

“Hey you” 

 

And Dan feels better all of a sudden, he just needed a little break from holding himself so tightly. He thinks maybe most of his life can be miserable as long as he gets a little time with Phil. 

 

This phone call didn’t fix a single problem. Dan’s still floating through life. But this, talking to phil, makes him feel like he’s got one aspect he enjoys and exceeds in.  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
